The Master Piledriver

Abhay cautioned his friend, “Shhh…here comes The Master. Please bow and then kneel. Remember, you have to stay on your knees for the entire session.”

“Yes man. Kneeling on my knees for so long would be torturous. But anything to cure my piles. I am just too wabbit. I can most certainly exchange a few hours of pain in my knees with the pain in my…”, Rakesh whispered. 

“Shhh…no bad words. The Master is capable of curing all ailments of his disciples. One can feel the Aura as soon as he makes an entry into the room”, Abhay said.

“Whatever you say. But what is the quid pro quo?”, asked Rakesh.

“Now what is that, Rakesh. You do have a penchant for talking in riddles”, Abhay asked. 

“OK, let me put it bluntly; what is The Master expecting in return for curing me? I am surprised he doesn’t take any donations”, Rakesh wondered.

“The Master is the most enlightened being in this entire Firmament. This is his lila”, Abhay admonished his friend. 

“Means, a drama? I can’t act, damn it. Let’s get out of here. Enough of spirituality for me”, uttered a panicky Rakesh.

“I said, be patient. You will not be required to act in a drama. No one knows what The Master will come up with”, Abhay comforted his friend. 

“Now what are these people bringing? Swords! Is it allowed?”, asked a perspiring Rakesh. 

“I think these are matchetes”, Abhay enlightened. 

“Whatever man. Are we supposed to duel with each other?”, a visibly concerned Rakesh blurted. 

“You and your imagination. Keep your nerves and sit tight”, Abhay admonished his friend. 

“I am sitting tight since long. Oh yes, I have to. And why are these attendants keeping the matchetes with the edge up, on the floor? And why doesn’t The Master speak? Is he on Maun Vrat?”, Rakesh rattled on.

“Shh…look, The Master has opened his eyes. That means he is ready to speak. Look at that miracle. His attendants are walking on the matchete edges. Wow!”, a truly Mesmerized Abhay spoke to himself. “Be prepared, he will ask anyone randomly. You might be the lucky one”, Abhay continued. 

“Yes, balak. What ails you? Whatever it is, please share your troubles with me. Trust me. And you won’t be disappointed”, so spake The Master finally. 

“Pssst…Rakesh, it’s you he is asking.”

“Master, I suffer from piles. And it pains; I am not able to sit for long,” replied a blunt Rakesh. 

“Come here balak. While coming, please do walk on this pathway. Just like my attendants do. Assure you that you will forget your suffering in a jiffy”, said The Master with a beatific smile.

“Whaat? What do you want me to do? This is impossible. Abhay! You be happy with this nonsense. I am not going to walk on blades to cure my piles. I am going…”, thundered a flabbergasted Rakesh. 

“But…but, Rakesh. Please wait.  Don’t insult The Master thus. Wait…I said wait”, cried Abhay pitifully.

Glossary:

Lila – a term used to focus on the playful relation between the Absolute and the denizens of this world

Maun vrat – a vow not to speak, especially for spiritual purposes

balak – term used to refer to a disciple

picture credit – unsplash.com and Ben White

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