Awkward Business

3 min


‘Hey, remove my blindfold, you idiot. Are you listening? I will complain to the police. You don’t know how big my father is. Are you listening? Help…’ She screamed for help.

‘Shut up. Shut up…..’ he shouted. ‘Don’t you even know the meaning of being kidnapped? Will complain…my foot,’ he mimicked her screechy voice.

‘Now, Shut up!. Let me listen to the Prime Minister. The last time he announced something at 8 O’clock, I was reduced to driving an auto from owning a business.’ 

‘…Friends.. I know, we can fight this pandemic together. We are locking down the whole country for the next 21 days. It means you need to stay wherever you are. Essentials’ shops will open. Let’s fight Corona together. Jai Hind.’

‘Fuck, what??’

‘Ha ha…It means that the whole country is under lockdown. You can’t go anywhere. We both are house arrested now. Police will come and rescue me. Idiot.’

He rushed to his kitchen to check his stocks. He checked everything.

‘With this, I can manage for 4 days’ he was thinking when the girl interrupted.

‘Hey, if you are in the kitchen, then let me remind you that you have to manage my food as well.’ She whined.

‘Ok, I can manage only 2 days.’ he recalculated and wondered how much a 24-year-old girl would eat. He checked his wallet. There were only 400rs. He went to the nearby shop to stock up.

After 2 Hours

She heard the door unlocking.

‘Kidnapper Bhaia, at least inform me when you are going outside. I was constantly talking before realizing that you are not even here. Please don’t do that next time. Also, wash your hands.’

‘Am I your servant? Keep quiet.’ 

He thought about it a million times before removing the blindfold from her eyes. 

‘You?? You kidnapped me?’, She was shocked to see him. She couldn’t believe that the same auto rider who used to drop her at the office kidnapped her.

‘Bhaia, I thought you were a good man. Chiiiii’,

‘You won’t understand. I am not a criminal madam’

They both felt awkward when he called her madam. 

‘You have lost the right to call me madam.’ 

‘Ayeee… don’t talk to me like this. I have kidnapped you and I can hurt you as well.’ he locked her inside the only room he had. 

‘Fuck me. Now, I will have to cook for two.’ He cursed himself.

Next Morning

He woke up to the sound of the banging door.

‘What happened?’ he screamed.

‘There is a cockroach inside the bathroom. Kill me but remove this creepy creature first.’

‘Hit it with a slipper’

‘You do. Please’

‘What am I doing? She has made me her servant.’ he thought while cudgeling the cockroach with his slippers.

‘Do you have milk?’ she asked. He didn’t respond.

‘I need tea. My metabolism doesn’t work without tea. Also, toilet paper? I need that.’

‘Where do you think you are? Rashtrapati Bhawan? Your PG room was no bigger than a matchbox. Such tantrums. Adjust.’

‘Okay, calm down. By the way, did you call my parents for a ransom? How much are you asking?’

He didn’t say anything. He locked her again and went to find the PCO nearby to call her parents. Little did he know that he would be welcomed by sanitized lathis of the policeman. He dropped the idea to pursue it further. Also, he needed the pain relief gel now.

Day 7

‘Aren’t your parents worried about you?’

‘How would they know? You haven’t called them. They must have called on my number, but my phone is at my PG. I won’t know if they have informed Police.’

‘Do they provide good food in Jail?’ he said softly.

‘What?’

‘Nothing.’

Day 8

‘Ayeee…. Madam…. You can’t lock from inside. This is not your private room.’ She opened the door.

‘1 Meter distance madam’

‘What happened?’

‘You were coughing all night long. Please go outside of my home. I can’t afford this disease.’

‘I am not going anywhere. You can call the police if you want.’

‘Madam, this is not fair. Wear your mask.’ He pleaded

‘Arre, calm down. It’s normal.’

‘No. It’s not. I have watched the news. You work in MNC. People must have gone to Italy and all. Please stay in the room.’

‘Yes, you are right. My colleague went to Italy. She bought me a perfume. It’s inside the bag that you took from me.’

‘What?? No.. Please.’

‘Arre chill, I am kidding. Call my parents. I will not tell them about the kidnapping. They will arrange something.’

‘Let me think about it.’

Day 10

‘Madam, I will call your father. You will ask them to pick you up anyhow. You will say that you are staying at your friend’s house.’

He called her father

cough cough cough… Novel coronavirus ko….’ What a stupid caller tune this is? Talk to your father’

‘Hello dad’

‘Yeah, I am okay. I am at friend’s house. My phone? It’s I phone dad. No charger… 

Yeah, she is okay too…. Please can you arrange something, I want to come to 

home….ummhmm….umhmmm ….umhmmm…. Ok… You too, take care’

‘What happened? Is he coming?’

‘No, He is sending me some money. He asked me to stay where I am right now. This is safe for me, he said.’

‘But, not for me. Fuck.’

Day 17

‘Can I cook breakfast? I am bored of this shitty meal.’

‘Shitty? You should be grateful.’

‘Should I be? You kidnapped me.’

‘What can you cook?’

‘Poha?’

‘Poha.’

They both sat on the floor and enjoyed the Poha. 

‘Kidnapping is an awkward business.’, he said and they both laughed. He switched on the television.Friends…We have almost defeated this epidemic. I congratulate you. Today I came here to ask you for the final blow. Are we ready? Can we do it? Can we extend this lockdown for one more week? I am sure, we can..

‘We can.’ They both said in Unison.

***

Photo By: Who’s Denilo

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Sandeep Jumrani
Hailing from Agra, Sandeep is a business developer by choice and a storyteller by passion. He believes that writing stories allows one to build their own fictional world. According to him, we all are playing characters and different roles in people’s life stories.

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