Claws Club Five00-5 Humour

Whose Life is it anyway

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I tell you, it was all in self defence. To protect myself and my family, I had to wield the weapon and the inevitable happened. By the time I finished, there were not one but nine dead bodies lying across the room.

My nightmare started thus…

I was taking in the sights of Kenyan Safari, flying high above the Masai Mara in a helicopter. Suddenly the buzz of the helicopter got stronger & stronger. I glanced at the pilot & saw his horror stricken face.

“We are crashing!! Save yourself, jump off the helicopter”.

BUZZZ….BUZZZZZ….BUZZZZZ…. and the next thing I know, we had crashed!

As I regained my consciousness, I was in familiar settings and wide awake.

The barracks of the fighter mosquitoes.

Their most favorite target, the biped monsters sleeping in their concrete towers have a new weapon in their arsenal to fight against them…the raquet!

So how to tackle this new obstacle to getting the red nectar?

Suddenly the one-eyed storm-trooper picks up the gauntlet. He announces, “Here is my plan. But It will involve a lot of sacrifices on our side too…”

I reached for the weapon.

As Federer entered my consciousness, I swung the racquet with a rasping serve & volley.

I knew I had found my mark, when I heard 2 zzzzt… sounds.

Satisfied, I tucked into my blanket.

Hardly 5 minutes were past, when a fresh buzz entered into my consciousness and stings on my cheeks. In great anger I slapped myself, which made me wide awake.

Fuming , I reached for the raquet again. This time the fierce Nadal, I rifled the raquet, grunting from the exertion, thus waking up my wife too.

She screamed thinking I was a ghost with flailing hands. As she regained her composure, she understood that her husband was on a mission. With her supporting me, I heard 3 more zzzztt….

But next 10 mins. there was peace.

As we lulled back into sleep, the BUZZZ returned, this time targeting my wife. She got up with the ferociousness of Steffi Graf. As I admired her forehands & backhands, I felt 2-3 stings on my arms.

My wife touched the raquet to my arm. This time, in addition to 2 zzzzttt…, one blood curdling swearword escaped from my mouth.

Now McEnroe made his grand entry. Angrily I wrested the racquet from my wife’s hand, put on the lights, pulled at all the curtains in the room and found but 2 more ZZZTT….

Suddenly the thought hit me…

This was their master plan! Squadrons of KAMIKAZE mosquitoes, who attack us mortals in waves instead of at one go. Thus, these small monsters still get their fill of the nectar, human blood, despite loosing some brave ones to the ZZZTT….

I shared this realization with my wife and had a good laugh over it.

So what if we lost 3 hrs of sleep, we still won the battle…. DID WE??

The Guard's Soulmate
That Night!


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