Dear Zindagi

“You will have a best friend for life. You can even name it,” said Amma.

This is how you came into my life.

 

8th Oct.1983

“Dear Zindagi”

Intelligent parents do not always get intelligent children.

I have taken after my “Pati”.

“Pati” taught me the Navrasa, which helped me in my Bharatnatyam performances. I want to be an actress. I can’t tell this to anyone.  Daughters can perform on stage, they can work in any field, but they cannot work in films. Hypocrisy.

…..

1st Dec. 1985

Dear Zindagi

I was standing backstage after my dance performance for the annual day. I knew it was Raj, I could smell his perfume. It was dark, his hand went over my back, touched my waist, and he then kissed me on my neck and vanished.

I confided in Shruti, my best friend.

“Raj is telling everyone that you kissed him,” Shruti said, holding Raj’s hand she walked away.

I learnt a hard lesson on friendship.

Amma was right, you are my only friend.

…..

31st May 1991

Dear Zindagi

Ranganathan, my husband, tall, dark, and not handsome. IIT topper, a Nerd.  No reason for me to reject the proposal. Why do Tamilians have such long names? What do I call him? Ranga?

I always wanted to marry a North Indian. They are romantic.

I have to ask the writers, what do they mean when they say going weak in the knees or blossomed like a flower?. I haven’t experienced these feelings, even on the first night.

Maybe one day, Ranga will profess his love for me. 

…..

25th July 2007

Dear Zindagi,

I am so busy with Adi and Pari. 

My Dance school keeps me on my toes. I am still waiting for that magical touch and words.

…..

29th Sept. 2017

Dear Zindagi

Adi settled in the US and Pari is an actress. Maybe, we do see our dreams through our children. She had a teacher in me, training her with all the nuances. I am so happy. 

…..

1st Jan. 2018

Dear Zindagi

I went to our building lobby and I could not remember our house.

…..

3rd March 2018

Dear Zindagi

I could not remember the steps today in class. I made an excuse and told the assistant to continue. 

…..

7th June 2018

Dear Zindagi

Someone is stealing my money. I cannot trust anyone here.

…..

15th May 2019

Dear Zindagi

Adi and Pari are here. They give me medicines.

I wanted to eat something sweet, but I can’t remember the name and how to make it. I stood in the kitchen and cried. Ranga held me like a child. He knew what I wanted to eat and made “Payasam”

Later as I went to bed, I heard him crying and said those magical words “What will I do without her?” 

…..

4th August 2019

Dear Zindagi

Will I forget you? 

…..

Dear Zindagi

Adi books. I seeI  write  

…..

Dear Zindagi

I eat    I sleep   I walk 

…..

D

A 

B 

…..

 

D

I 

…..

D

…..

 

I

.

 

.

.

 

 

Picture Credit Marc Schaefer from unspalsh.com

Alzheimer’s is a neurodegenerative disease that usually starts slowly and progressively worsens. The most common symptom is difficulty in remembering recent events. As a person’s condition declines, they often withdraw from family and society. – Source Wikipedia.

Pati – Grandmother

Navrasa – nine emotions, moods, or sentiments that sum up the day to day lives of human being

Payasam – traditional Indian sweet.

 

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