Fiction Five00-12 Humour

Heaven or Hell?

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“Here I’m, Prabho! A little late for the meeting, sorry.”

“Why do you have to sprint all the way? Have you still not got the hang of appearing and disappearing in the firmaments, dude? 

“Blame it on my aging cells. I keep forgetting that stunt.”

“Whatever! Catch your breath first to help me catch my targets with the noose!”

“That’s such a bad joke, Mahaprabho Yamadharmaraj! Please stop your raucous guffaw. You spread a malevolent aura with that. I love my job, but, if given a chance, I’d always side with the Creator.”

“Hmmmmmm…you have a point. By the way, when did you develop the guts to issue commands?”

“I’m sorry if that’s annoyed you. Doesn’t the association of Yama and Chithragupta run for aeons now? I hope I could get away with mocking and ordering the God of Death sometimes?”

“Fine, but that smirk irritates me more, Chithu.”

“Ahhh, Prabho! That nickname is so feminine. Request you to change it.”

“Let me give a dose of your own medicine, old man! Our association runs too far and long that efforts to keep it formal only turn futile. But yes, quid pro quo may work sometimes.”

“That’ll never happen, Prabho. Chuck it. Let’s get to business. There are two difficult case files I require your intervention with. Their unearthly counterparts are just outside. One even flashes a machete!”

“God, what’s their background? And, just two?! That’s such a relief to know. Since the second wave started, the cases have been too many to handle.”

“The second wave has subsided a bit yet the number of deaths is still scary. It’s just two for now because they are getting quite unmanageable, Prabho. They are putting up a fight for a place in heaven.”

“Let’s get their Karmic calculations done. Bring them in!”


Man-1: He’s at fault. He was rash and on the wrong side. Can’t one walk freely in this country without getting attacked by L-boards?

Man-2: Don’t you dare talk about my driving skills, Mister. When you walk, focus on the road and don’t dream, lest you die everyday.

Yama: Ahem! That’s not possible now, folks, for you’re already dead! I’m only happy that you’re not the virus’s victims. Chithu, what does the calculator say?

Chithragupta: Heaven and hell, respectively.

Man-2: ATROCIOUS! Injustice meted out to a poor soul! I want to escalate this to your supervisors.

Yama: SILENCE! I see that you work in IT, dude. But here, my word is the rule. A little peek into your history says that you’ve neither worn masks regularly nor have you judiciously exercised social-distancing. I see no masks even on your souls. I sentence you both to HELL!

Chithragupta: Are you humans forever going to be careless and jeopardise the pl-a-n-et? 

Yama: Huh? What’s with the cough, Chithu?

Chithragupta: I’m feeling wabbit! Hope these two aren’t asymptomatic carriers of the virus.

Yama: Mask up. Stay safe. Maintain social-distancing. Holds good for us too, Chithu! Let’s avoid the third wave.

Glossary :

Prabho – (Sanskrit) Master

Mahaprabho – (Sanskrit) The great master

Yama – God of Death

Chithragupta – Yama’s assistant (in deathly affairs!)

IT – Information Technology sector

Image by Tumisu from Pixabay





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