...

Ohh… something is happening! But what? It hurts… 

She is pushing me out! Why? I don’t want to leave. Please, let me stay here inside. 

Ouch! I… no… 

Squeeze… pain… blurry… My, whatever it is, it hurts. Don’t do this to me. I can’t breathe! 

Push… Push…Whoosh! 

Forced out of my safe place. Gasp! What’s happening? Something is on me. Eww… 

No water… Where is water? Why is it different? Why am I out? I want to swim. Put me back inside! 

Breathe… ugh… air… too much air… 

What is this? Where is it? I’ll see for myself. Let me open my eyes a bit.

Squint… ouch! Bright… light… too much light… Make it dark! Make. It. Dark. 

Touch… Tickle… Tingle… 

Pain everywhere… it hurts. Maybe it doesn’t. But I don’t like it here. 

Protest!

Open my mouth and let out a sound… Oh, it is from inside me! 

Oh… again… feels better; just a little, but better. Keep going until they me back inside. How dare they do this to me? 

Bawl the lungs out…yell, cry, and sob.

Fists curled, legs angled, and eyes shut. This feels good. Will do this every time to make them do what I want. 

Pat, pat, patgentle, hard… ouch! Strange feeling… who, what, why, and how? More air… 

Shudder!

I… Momma… where is she? Where am I? Why doesn’t she speak? I can’t hear her voice. Momma! 

Too many voices. Too much noise. Bad… everything is bad. I want momma. 

Cry louder… 

Give me momma. Put me back inside. What is this? Something touchy-touchy on me. Wet, sticky… icky. 

Cry loud, louder, loudest… Keep crying…

Soft… cocoon? Like the inside but not dark, and no water. Feels nice, but I won’t admit it. I won’t give up. I won’t stop. 

“Oh… my… darling… my baby…” 

This voice… Momma! She is here! She will take me back. Put me inside her again. Oh, momma… see what they did when you weren’t here. 

“Shh… sweetie… I’m here. You are here. Hushh!”

Momma… Her voice is closer. Clearer? Sharper? 

Oh, I’m outside. Can I see her? Let me try. But the light… 

Hiccup… hiccup… 

I will try. I want to see her- my momma. Here… Open my eyes. Argh… too bright. Why is it not like inside? How does momma see anything in this light? 

“My baby… look at your momma, sweetie.” 

Yes… I will. Momma, I will… Open my eyes again, just a little. Ah, yes, phew! I can see now. It’s all different… Strange, weird, big… oh, so big and scary. Momma, where are you? 

“Shh… momma’s here.” 

Same voice. Love… safe. 

Touch… Soft, gentle, and soothing.

This is momma. I know her touch. Can feel her heartbeat. 

Thud… thud… thud… thud…

This is the sound I know. My sound, my momma. Now, let me look at her. Ah… so big! Momma… is that you? Even you are huge! But I don’t want to cry anymore. You are here. You keep me safe. Momma…  

But… how do I stop crying? Help!

“My baby… look at you all red and crying. Hush now. Breathe.”

I’m trying! Ohh… breathe. Yes… This is how to stop crying. For now. 

Look at momma again. There she is. Is this how she looks? Is this how I look? But I feel tiny. 

Blink… Blink… Blink…

“Aww, aren’t you a clever lad? Winking at your mother already.”

Oh no! New sound. Who is it? Should I cry again? Let me ask momma. Let me see only her. I want no one. Shoo! Go away! 

“Ow! Your son can whack, alright!”

“Well, he is mine.”

Oh, momma is… what’s the word for it? She looks like the face I see in my sleep! 

Laughing…

I know this sound. She is happy. I make momma laugh. Wow! I make her happy. Me, it’s me!

“And mine too. I want my share of him.”

Oh… new sound. No! I know this voice. Rough, scratchy, but nice… Dada! He is here, too! 

Let me look at him. Is he as huge as momma? Dada, where are you? Why is everything so new and scary? 

“Champ, dada is here.” 

Touch… Lift… Cuddle…

New smell… salty. Ohhhh! Dada is bigger. 

Blink… Blink… 

“He winked at me. He knows us!” 

“Of course, he does. Hasn’t he been listening to us all these months?”

That’s momma now. They are… talking. I know these sounds. So soothing. I like it. Keep talking. I want more.

Curve the lips, smile…

“He smiled! Oh, my god!” 

Did I smile? What did I do? Oh, well. Dada is happy, momma is happy, so I am happy. But… 

What’s that tingle on my inside? That’s not good. I feel… what do I feel? All this is new. I don’t know. Help! 

Crying again… 

“Lad seems to be hungry. It’s time for his first feed. Can you do it, or should we take care of it?” 

What are they saying? Don’t take me anywhere. Momma! Dada! 

“I’ll feed him if you assist.”

“Of course. We are here for that. Let me help you sit up, just a little… Now, lean back. Relax. It’ll be sore. Right, all comfy? Here you go.”

New hands on me. Shoo! Let me go. Don’t touch me! 

“He is a picky lad! Off you go to your mom, son. Time for another new experience.”

“My baby, you are with momma now. Shh… look at me, sweetie.” 

This touch. Safe. This is momma. How do I stop crying? Oh, breathe… breathe…

“That’s my darling. Now, drink up. Your first dose of milk to grow healthy and strong.” 

Drink? Milk? What is it? How? 

Sniffle… 

Oh, my mouth is open… Let me turn and find… Ohhh… 

What do… oh…

Warm liquid… tasty… nice, sweet. My inside feels good… I want more…

“He latched on like a pro. Kids these days are too smart.”

I am what? Nevermind. I have momma. Want nothing else. 

Momma, mine. 

Love… 

***

Disclaimer: This is not meant to be accurate representation of birthing. 

***

Picture Credit: Image by landondell from Pixabay


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