Monday, September 28, 2020

Numb

It is a vicious circle.

But…

In my thirty years of existence, if there is one word that would describe me aptly- it would be ‘meek’. 

But, I did not want to be a sissy anymore. I could be bold too. This wisdom dawned upon me, during one of those many conversations that I had with my friend Rhea.

Rhea was like a breath of fresh air. Her effervescence was bound to rub on me. I had befriended her some months ago in my Yoga classes. Boy, I was smitten. She really listened to me and we talked about possibly everything under the sun. I did not intend to talk about it initially. But, looking at my disgruntled face, she held my hand one day and asked me what was it that was wrecking my life?

“You don’t have to endure this. Trust me. If something is decayed, we need to get rid of it, rather than hanging on to it”, she exclaimed. 

As she animatedly narrated the details of her encounter with ‘him’, I looked at her agape.

                         ***************

And so here I am today, wondering and second guessing myself.

I am visibly trembling like a rusty leaf. Why am I so afraid? It is my call after all.

I look at the pale crimson wall that stare at me and the words on the poster scream out loud as if pushing me to take the plunge.

‘Winners don’t quit, quitters don’t win’.

Do I really need it? Is it so bad? It lasted so many years and here I am suddenly giving up. 

 But, I have to do this. Just then, my phone rings and pushes me out of my reverie. 

‘Husband calling’, the words flash on the shiny screen. I cannot possibly talk to him now. I do not need any distractions.

My current predicament is making me aghast. I guess it is time. 

I stand up and walk inside. Damn, it is chilling. 

He looks at me, smiles and closes the door. I shiver and instantly have gooseflesh all over my body.

I so wish to go back. But, the bewitching smile stops me right in my tracks.

Cautiously I head towards a lone chair that is perched in the brightly illuminated room. Suddenly, I have cold feet.

No, I cannot do this. What am I doing here?

Bad memories of me as a teenager appear, flashing like a sudden downpour. It had been disastrous then. It won’t be any better now.

I stand up and hasten towards the door. Just then, he turns back and calls my name. He comes close to me and looks at me straight in the eyes.

“Please, be seated mam. You need not be scared. It is just a wisdom tooth removal surgery. The tooth will be extracted today and then you will have to come back to me after a week for the check up”.

I sigh.

It is a vicious circle.

***

Photo By: Mohammad Gh

***

This is an entry for Five00-7, a writing event hosted by ArtoonsInn. Check out the event prompt and guidelines here: https://writers.artoonsinn.com/five00-7/

Use the tracker to record your rulfy progress: https://1drv.ms/x/s!ApiLwn00sMcLgw25_MChxGCrua9_

 

 

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