I am obsessed with him. Besotted. Smitten. Whatever! His rugged features, the angular jawline, that mischievious smile, the callous wink and the husky baritone..sigh! As if all the waking hours I dote on him aren’t enough, he haunts my dreams too. One night, as I dozed off in the study, I could feel the warmth of his breath on the back of my neck. I woke up and turned around hoping it was him. Silly me!
Just yesterday, I sent him off on a road trip with his friends from school so that I could attend to other commitments which needed my immediate attention. I admit to him being too much of a distraction.
Ryan. He has turned my world upside down, ever since he came into my life. Gazing at my own reflection in the mirror, I can’t help gloating over the fact that I can make him dance to my tunes. I am well-aware how he makes many a heart flutter, but then, I am the only one who can make him go weak in the knees.
I can make him laugh and sing aloud with joy and I can make him sob in despair the very next moment. Like the time I planned the picnic with Anya and her troupe. Ryan was all set to go. But my twitching eye seemed to suggest otherwise. So, I found an excuse to leave him out of it. Of course, he was upset. Very upset. I was fed up of him sulking for a week thereafter. I assumed that a trip with the boys would do him good while I cleared my cluttered mind.
But alas, as they say, distance makes the heart grow fonder. And my mind is busy conjuring up all the things I intend to do with him once he is back.
Ooh…I love him.
Ryan woke up that day with an unmistakable spring in his step. His eyes lit up with excitement as he looked out of the window. The weather was perfect. The last of the winter snow withdrew into the narrow crooks and crevices around the cottage whilst tiny shoots sprouted out from the hibernating flower- bed, craning their fragile necks to get a glimpse of the elusive sun.
He sang aloud in the shower. There couldn’t be a better day for a picnic at the verdant green expanse adorned by snow peaks on all sides. He looked forward to being with her. He hoped he would be fortunate enough to grab a few moments with her near the quaint little brook that meandered through the woods lining the expanse. He cherished the calm she brought into his chaotic life. As he got dressed, he wondered whether it was the right day to pursue what his heart had always desired. He smiled to himself as he turned the knob of the bathroom door to step out. The door seemed stuck. Ryan gave a soft whistle and tried again. It refused to budge. It had given issues the previous summer when the wood had expanded because of an unprecedented rise in humidity. But he hadn’t anticipated this at this time of the year. He struggled for half an hour before giving up. He would have to wait it out till the landlord came back in the afternoon. The picnic-troupe would wait for him at the crossroads for a quarter of an hour and then move on. He made a mental note of carrying his phone to the bathroom in the future.
Then he broke down. He cried because it dawned on him how much the picnic had meant to him. It would have probably been his last chance to profess his love. He would be leaving this beautiful hamlet very soon to take up a better job in the big city. And she would never know how much he had loved her since high-school. He kicked the door in exasperation.
A week after the picnic fiasco, a forlorn Ryan was coaxed by Sid and Samar to accompany them on a short road trip. Ryan gave in to their hysterical persuasion. As they drove down the winding path to the only crossroad that the hill-station boasted of, he saw her standing there, a bag in her hand.
Sid stopped the car and she got in.
“I love you, Anya!” Ryan confessed.
And they kissed.
I loved him.
With all sincerity.
I can’t fathom the deception. How dare he? After all the attention I have bestowed upon him the last few weeks, why did Ryan betray me?.
Anya? Ryan should have known better than to fall for that imbecile. I had been resisting the urge to get her pushed off a cliff all this while. I should have let that accident happen at the picnic just like I manipulated the bathroom door thing. I curse myself for letting Ryan go on the road trip with ‘school friends’.
Why does it happen to me everytime? Why do the characters I create rebel against me? Why are they so unreliable? I remember typing late into the night, finishing the scene where Ryan leaves for the trip with the boys. I wonder how Anya reached the crossroad?
Kiss..ugh..how cliched ! Here I was trying to execute a heart-wrenching saga of unrequited love…the kind of love that stays forever. Sigh!But Ryan and Anya spoilt it all with their fairytale kiss.
I don’t like Ryan anymore. The jawline is too angular for my taste. A gentleman never winks. And the smile is kind of twisted. Scary. He could be the villain in my revised manuscript. Maybe the one who pushes Anya off the cliff.
I prefer Samar. Aah.. chocolate boy looks with the most endearing dimple on the cheek and the black mop of unruly hair on his forehead. I visualise him strumming his guitar and crooning, standing below my balcony as I type furiously to meet the deadline. He seems reliable.
Ooh…I love him.