Wellness Guru: Live! Raise your hand up to the sky! Dance! Sing! Just because we can’t sing, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t! We have forgotten to live. Take pleasure in small things! Let not our aura fade! Clap, raise hell..Let your family rejoice!
Me: Raat Baaqi, baat baaqi Hona Hai Jo..hona hai whatever!
Husband: My, God woman! Neighbours would think I took a machete at you. The noise you produce drowns even the vacuum cleaner and what is that you are doing with your backside? Have you added weight again?
Me: Poocho na..poocho tuh……What? Am I loud?
Husband: Spare me, please. Your voice sounds a cross between a heavy truck skidding in slush and a nail scratching a damned rusty surface! Didn’t your music teacher say that your voice would come in handy in case the house is on fire? The one mistake, we did during the ‘girl seeing’ ceremony is enough to scar my mother for life!
Me: I told her that I can’t sing. Who asked her not to take a ‘no’ for an answer? Which mother-in-law learned to listen to her daughter-in-law?
Husband: Well, she learned fast enough when she heard your …what was that song?
Me: Unnai ondru ketpen, Unmai solla vendum, Ennai paada sonnaal, Enna paada thondrum
Husband: That day she decided not to listen to music ever !!! So, please stop singing. I love you despite your voice!
Me: Phir se kaho, kahati raho..pharak nai padtha hai! I need to sing in order to get done with this chore….if you want you do it…then I might consider not singing
Husband: Anything is better than the horrifying noise you produce in the name of singing. Guess, you are the worst singer in the firmament. And you don’t know lyrics too!
Me: Babuji dheere karna..is tharaf cobwebs nikalna!
Husband: You stop that hollering in lieu of my vacuuming! That was the deal we struck… quid pro quo, remember?
Me: Gussa itna haseen hai toh, pyaar kaise hoga?
Son: Why are you two fighting and amma, stop that godawful noise!
Husband: I am wabbit, son…ask your mother to stop, please! I am getting a headache and my back is sore.
Me: kya karoo hai , mujhe budda mil gaya!
Husband: Ha! Remember you are no jawaan!
Me: Jawaani jaan-e -man haseen dil ruba !!! Milein do dil jawaan something ..ho gaya!
Husband: What’s with you? That you are singing constantly that too off-key!
Me: three reasons: adds to one’s happiness, it keeps my lungs strong, if my mind is filled with positive, peaceful and wholesome thoughts then I can develop my …
Husband: I will come with just one reason.. on why you shouldn’t sing: ‘wife’s silence….bliss for others!’ I will clean the house, you go holler in the bathroom.
Me: Biraa…Taraa taraa taraa, paraa paraa paraa Duniyaa mein, logon ko Dhokhaa kabhi ho jaataa hai!
Photo courtesy: Sturti, istock